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Let’s end the envy and pledge allegiance to the one percent

MATT LAUER: … Do you suggest that … anyone who has questions about the distribution of wealth and power in this country, is envious? …

MITT ROMNEY: You know, I think it’s about envy. I think it’s about class warfare. I think when you have a president encouraging the idea of dividing America based on 99 percent versus one percent, and those people who have been most successful will be in the one percent, you’ve opened up a wave of approach to this country which is entirely inconsistent with the concept of one nation under God.

LAUER: Are there no fair questions about the distribution of wealth without it being seen as envy, though?

ROMNEY: I think it’s fine to talk about those things in quiet rooms and discussions about tax policy and the like. But the president has made it part of his campaign rally….

Mitt Romney says he’ll Keep America America, but to do that he’ll have to Restore America. The United States has lost a lot of America thanks to the un-American voters who keep electing baby-killer socialists from the Democrat party. Mitt Romney seems to think that he’s the man to unite America against these un-American Americans who are so intent on destroying America. He may well be right. *

One of the first things Romney will have to restore is the true meaning of the pledge of allegiance. Does anyone else these days understand that the pledge is about swearing off class warfare? That it’s about showing proper deference to the most successful Americans, the Job Creators? Over the last few generations, since the New Deal shunted America onto the wrong track, we’ve had Civil Rights and Voting Rights and Disability Rights and Gay Rights and on and on. It’s no wonder that a whole lot of Americans, from the semi-successful to the not-so-successful to the downright unsuccessful, seem to think they practically own the place.

Maybe what we need is a new pledge to restore the true meaning of the old pledge. In fact, to get back to the concept of one nation under God and indivisible, we probably need separate pledges for the 1 percent and for the 99 percent. For those of us who haven’t contributed our fair share of job-creating success, the pledge should remind us whose coattails we’re riding. Something like this:

I pledge of allegiance to the One Percent of the United States of America, and to the Republic, which they command, one nation, under one true God, indivisible, with liberty and respect for the prosperous, with law and order for the rest.

(Or should it be peace and quiet for the prosperous? I’m not sure. These things take work, and all I’ve got is a first draft. Feel free to tinker with it.)

Changing the pledge of allegiance might seem awfully radical. It might seem like too much. But think, do you want your children to drop out of school so they can beat drums and chant in some squalid sodomite tent city? Or would you rather be humbled and put in your proper place by a new American pledge?

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Law and order is one area where Romney and the other Republicans, except for the old crackpot, see pretty much eye to eye, with each other and even with un-American Democrats like Obama. But thanks to a Harvard Divinity School student named Matt Bieber, the Romney campaign was the law-and-order standout in New Hampshire.

Bieber had taken a bus up from Boston to see the primary process first hand and do some blogging about it. On Monday Nov. 9, the day before the vote, he went to the town of Hudson to hear Romney speak. Soon after he got there, he was “chatting up a campaign staffer when a police officer approached.”

Sir, we have to ask you to leave the premises.

“Sir, is this about my backpack? I’d be happy to show you - there’s nothing dangerous in there.”

“No, sir - we’ll explain it to you outside.”

I gathered my things and walked past a group of citizens and press, humiliated and confused.

Outside, the officer said, “Sir, the campaign has identified you as someone who was at a protest at Romney’s office in Manchester.”

Bieber had a lot of questions, like, “Could I speak to someone from the campaign to clear this up?” Couldn’t be done with so many people around, he was told. And besides, as one of the arresting officers, Roger Lamarche, told Rosie Gray at Buzzfeed, “It’s not my job to give people an explanation.”

So what was his job? Lamarche explained that although he and Kevin Ducie are officers in the Hudson, N.H. Police Department, their job that Monday was “to provide police service to the Romney staff who had hired the town of Hudson to hire [us].” It’s true, he said, that Bieber “hadn’t done anything.” Still, it was “the staff’s word against [Bieber’s],” and since the officers were working for the staff that wasn’t much of a dilemma. They just arrested him. Problem solved.

Pepper spray in the face

Bieber says he was never at any protest in Machester, and he sure doesn’t seem like a protester. Of course there’s no way for me to know for sure. Maybe he’s putting up an elaborate front, pretending to be this earnest guy who just wants to experience retail politics up close and personal and then write about it. I haven’t seen a single reason to doubt him, though. The Romney campaign hasn’t offered any explanation to reporters or to Bieber himself, even though he’s asked very nicely.

Bieber did seem to think that he could just show up at whatever campaign event he felt like and ask any kind of questions he wanted. So maybe the Romney folks did him a favor. Once their man restores America so that it’s American again, people like Bieber will need to know their place. And a few hours in the Hudson, N.H. holding pen sure beats a face full of pepper spray, don’t you think?

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* I see that Newt Gingrich, too, realizes that “America’s enemies are… other Americans.”